What I’ve Learned From Going on 15 First Dates

Since I’ve graduated college, I’ve learned a thing or two about going on first dates. I’ve officially been on 15 first dates now. Some of those dates led to second dates, thirds dates and most commonly no dates but for argument’s sake, let’s just talk about the first dates.  I’m not a pro by any means and I’ve got a long, long ways to go, but here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

  1. Don’t let your nerves get to you (too much). Okay, this goes without saying that it’s IMPOSSIBLE not to get nervous. If you’re not nervous at all, something is wrong with you and you’re a super human. Just breathe deeply and try to relax. You will survive! If you’re really, really nervous go for a walk to use up some of that energy. Breathe.
  2. As much as you want them to like you, you need to like them too. This one is hard for me to remember. Not only do I want to seem cool, funny, outgoing, put-together … I need to be looking and seeing if they are a good fit for me in return.
  3. Awkward silences are inevitable. Period. There’s no way around it so just grin and bear it. Don’t panic if it’s quiet for a few seconds (or many seconds). If you’re trying to fill the silence but the conversation keeps dying, take a slow sip of your drink or have another bite of your food. It’ll save you 3-7 seconds which is something.
  4. Pin your bangs back or to the side. You have to! No one wants to talk to someone who’s constantly picking at their hair. I’m a fidget-er when I’m nervous so I pin my bangs to the side so I don’t play with my hair.
  5. When you arrive, text him and tell him what you’re wearing. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve struggled to find the guy I’m going on a date with. It’s extremely stressful and causes me to panic when I do a lap of the bar or coffee shop and can’t find him. I’ve even had bartenders ask me, “Do you need help?” YES! GET ME OUT OF HERE. Some guys look WAY different in real life compared to their photos, depending if they’re wearing a hat, glasses or have facial hair and so on. You’d be surprised. If you tell him what you’re wearing, let’s pray that he’ll flag you down or find you ASAP.

Try to remind yourself that it’s good to step out of your comfort zone. It can be really hard and really scary, but it’s also really rewarding to see yourself do something you didn’t think you could do. So from one single lady to another, good luck!

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Words to Live By: Timing is Everything

When you’re a control freak with a Type-A personality, like myself, it can be hard to slow down and let life take its course. I have so many goals, dreams and aspirations but I have to remind myself to take it one day at a time before I get discouraged.

I have so many questions that are left unanswered but I’m learning that any progress is still progress! Stepping outside of my comfort zone is good for me. Learning to cook healthier meals is good for me. Dating complete strangers online is (in some ways) good for me.

I have the tendency to want to plan, plan plan but I can’t always do that. I’ll just stay positive and hope for the best! With hard work and the right timing, things will fall into place. So tell me, how do you stay motivated when the going gets tough? I’d love to hear your thoughts.