What I’ve Learned From Going on 15 First Dates

Since I’ve graduated college, I’ve learned a thing or two about going on first dates. I’ve officially been on 15 first dates now. Some of those dates led to second dates, thirds dates and most commonly no dates but for argument’s sake, let’s just talk about the first dates.  I’m not a pro by any means and I’ve got a long, long ways to go, but here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

  1. Don’t let your nerves get to you (too much). Okay, this goes without saying that it’s IMPOSSIBLE not to get nervous. If you’re not nervous at all, something is wrong with you and you’re a super human. Just breathe deeply and try to relax. You will survive! If you’re really, really nervous go for a walk to use up some of that energy. Breathe.
  2. As much as you want them to like you, you need to like them too. This one is hard for me to remember. Not only do I want to seem cool, funny, outgoing, put-together … I need to be looking and seeing if they are a good fit for me in return.
  3. Awkward silences are inevitable. Period. There’s no way around it so just grin and bear it. Don’t panic if it’s quiet for a few seconds (or many seconds). If you’re trying to fill the silence but the conversation keeps dying, take a slow sip of your drink or have another bite of your food. It’ll save you 3-7 seconds which is something.
  4. Pin your bangs back or to the side. You have to! No one wants to talk to someone who’s constantly picking at their hair. I’m a fidget-er when I’m nervous so I pin my bangs to the side so I don’t play with my hair.
  5. When you arrive, text him and tell him what you’re wearing. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve struggled to find the guy I’m going on a date with. It’s extremely stressful and causes me to panic when I do a lap of the bar or coffee shop and can’t find him. I’ve even had bartenders ask me, “Do you need help?” YES! GET ME OUT OF HERE. Some guys look WAY different in real life compared to their photos, depending if they’re wearing a hat, glasses or have facial hair and so on. You’d be surprised. If you tell him what you’re wearing, let’s pray that he’ll flag you down or find you ASAP.

Try to remind yourself that it’s good to step out of your comfort zone. It can be really hard and really scary, but it’s also really rewarding to see yourself do something you didn’t think you could do. So from one single lady to another, good luck!

ICYMI: Top Posts From This Blog

Hi! Last year or the year before I put out a blog post that rounded up some of my favorite posts since starting this thing. Since it’s been a while, I figured I’d do that again. Maybe you’re new to the blog or maybe you don’t mind reading some stories twice. I’ll stop talking now. Here are a few posts in case you missed it (ICYMI):

If you’re in the mood for cat things:

Why Cat People Deserve a Break 

Why I’d Be the Best Cat

If you’re in the mood for me venting about nonsense:

7 Social Media Pet Peeves that Drive Me Batty

The Truth About Thick Hair

If you’re in the mood for dating stories: 

5 Online Dating Pics Guys Post That Need to End

A Follow-Up Post to My Online Dating Post

If you’re in the mood for single lady tips:

Single Girl’s Guide: Navigating Valentine’s Day

Single Girl’s Guide: Surviving Valentine’s Day – Round 2

So, there you go! Have fun!

 

Single Girl’s Guide: Surviving Valentine’s Day – Round 2

Hey friends!

Remember when I wrote a post about fun ways to navigate Valentine’s Day as a single lady? That was nice. Well I wanted to share it with you again so here’s what we covered last year (in case you missed it):

Single Lady Must-Dos for VALENTINE’S DAY

  • Send out cheesy Valentines. 
  • Make plans for Valentine’s Day.
  • Treat yourself to a salon date.
  • Pick up a heart-shaped pizza from Pizza Murphy’s.
  • BE HAPPY.

And my new suggestion for this year…

Host a Galentine’s Day Party.

For those of you that are obsessed with the TV show Parks and Rec like me, you should host a party for your girls. And if you’re not into the show, throw a girls night anyways. Trust me on this one.

“What’s Galentine’s Day? Oh, it’s only the best day of the year. Every February 13th, Leslie Knope and her lady friends leave their husbands and their boyfriends at home and just kick it breakfast style. Ladies celebrating ladies.” – Online Source

I’m going to have a group of my girlfriends over for a nighttime brunch to celebrate Galentine’s Day this weekend, then I’m headed home to spend a few days with my parents. I’ll be surrounded by the people I love.

This is a super “cheerleader” post but I still stand behind everything I wrote last year. Show your friends and family you love them and are thinking of them. Just because you’re alone now doesn’t mean you’ll be alone forever. Stay positive!

Single Girl’s Guide: Navigating Valentine’s Day

So February 14 is around the corner. It’s like an elephant in the room and there’s no way to avoid it. Maybe you’re like me and you have a flower shop directly outside of work  on the sky way level. Maybe this flower shop is a total eyesore with a countdown to Valentine’s Day scribbled on chalkboards, and placed directly in front where you can’t miss them. “17 days until Valentine’s Day!” …. “2 days until Valentine’s Day!” This particular flower shop, and hundreds of other businesses, are sending not-so-gentle reminders that Valentine’s Day is fast-approaching.

A pretty cake I could never whip up. But it sure is nice to look at.

Just like New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day will come and go. If you’re a single lady like me, you might feel the need to suppress feelings of hostility and  loneliness so your couple-y friends don’t pity you. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Just because you don’t have a special someone doesn’t mean you should hate Valentine’s Day. That’s a waste of energy and it’s not necessary.

So, I wrote up a little guide to help you navigate Valentine’s Day this Friday in a happy and positive way. Here’s what you’re going to do:

Send out cheesy Valentines. Go to Target and buy the cheap boxes of kiddo Valentines. You know the ones I’m talking about with the stickers and tattoos. I bought One Direction Valentines in January (sorry to the third grader who’ll cry when her mom tells her the 1D ones are sold out. That’s on me) for my coworkers and friends. Not only are kid Valentines hilarious, they’ll show the people in your life that you care about them and that you’re thinking about them. You might just surprise someone who really needs it. (OR you can impress people and make witty Valentines with the help of Real Simple.)

Real Simple // homemade Valentines

Real Simple // homemade Valentines

Make plans for Valentine’s Day. You heard me. Make plans! Do you want to sit home and watch hours of Netflix alone? Of course you don’t! You’ll only set the stage for feeling vulnerable and sorry for yourself. I don’t care what you do. Visit your parents, meet up with high school friends, host a Just Dance party, round-up a bunch of your cousins and go to a movie. Just do something so you can get your mind off being alone.

Treat yourself to a salon date. Schedule a manicure, fix up those highlights or sign up for that massage you’ve been dying for. Whatever it takes. Primp! Feel pretty. Just because the dating/engaged/married girls are looking glam for Valentine’s Day weekend, doesn’t give you a free pass to look sloppy.

Pick up a heart-shaped pizza from Pizza Murphy’s. Do I need to justify this? It’s the best Valentine’s Day special ever for $7! You can’t even go to a movie for $7 anymore. Trust me on this one, you won’t regret it. Devour it yourself or share it with friends. I’ll leave that up to you and I won’t judge.

Papa Murphy’s “HeartBaker” Pizza

BE HAPPY. Now I’m getting a little cheesy but…what makes you laugh your face off? Is it YouTube videos of kids falling off swing sets? (Guilty.) Is it your favorite SNL skit? Is it giving your brother or best friend a quick call? Do something that makes you laugh really, really hard.

And if you really, really just want to stay in… I get you. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be alone. But whatever you do, get off social media. Ignore Facebook and Instagram. Out of sight, out of mind. Make sense?

Just because you don’t have someone now, doesn’t mean you won’t have someone forever. There’s a difference between being alone,  and being lonely. Which one do you want to be?

And for more single girl tips, check out my guide to surviving New Year’s Eve post. Have a HAPPY Valentine’s Day everyone!

Single Girl’s Guide: Rocking New Year’s Eve

It’s New Year’s Eve! The one day of the year that many single ladies like myself dread. So I’m here to help you out! I have a few tips for making this year–and any night in the future–a breeze.

A Single Girl’s Guide to a Rocking New Year’s Eve

Sport bold lipstick. Own it, girl. This can be a scary jump, but it’s totally worth it. Believe me, this is coming from a chap stick connoisseur (that was really hard to spell). I can count eight different chap sticks I’m using now. But to make my point, bold lipstick is a must-have for New Year’s! Kick off the new year with an eye-catching smile.

bold lips

bold lips

Listen to a girl-power playlist. You’ve gotta play pump-up music either getting ready or at the party you’re going to or hosting. There’s nothing like a little Beyoncé or Kelly Clarkson to make you feel all bubbly. Thought Catalog has an amazing single ladies playlist for NYE I might just use all year round.

Make a photo booth. If you’re hosting a party, make your own photo booth and take fun photos with crazy, crappy New Year’s Eve party hats and props. Support dollar stores around the world! Can I just say I’m obsessed with this example from Oh Happy Day?

DIY sequin photo booth

DIY sequin photo booth

Eat whatever snacks you want. Let’s be honest, you’re not kissing anyone at midnight, so show that buffalo chicken dip who’s boss!

Decide your own plans. Don’t get stuck into doing what all the couples are doing or what your parents are doing or what you did last year. “It’s tradition that we usually…” WRONG.  As a single girl, this is the only time in your life you can make (or avoid) plans without having to consider someone else’s schedule. When you have a husband and kids someday, you’re going to get roped into attending a lame basement party where the squeeze  cheese runs out before 10 p.m. and someone’s kid explodes Capri Sun all over the carpet. (If that’s your kind of scene, don’t get mad at me! I used to love that too but I was 8-years-old and not a 20-something living in the city.)

Primp. Shave your legs, paint your nails, actually wash your hair–do whatever makes you feel glamorous. You don’t need anyone but you to appreciate it.

glam nails

glam nails

Well, that’s all I’ve got for you. Chin up, look fabulous and have a great, safe and happy new year!